Sunday, 5 July 2015

I usually start off an entry telling about my surroundings. Not this time. Especially with thick bags on our head. But I knew it was the pits due to the familiar squishy mud I've been accustomed to. The only colour I could see was a sunset orange to indicate that it was... Sunset. Thunder created an ominous atmosphere that only my ears could hear, in addition to another new prisoner that was nine years old, somehow an assassin crying in a fit with a high pitched voice. A loud "Shut up!" actually shut the nine year old's mouth, now only heard as whimpers.
    It seemed hope was beaten to a bloody pulp and then hanged, this thought was confirmed when my jail mate the half-orc wizard was weeping and gasping for air for his precious Ted the sword. I would strangle him in any other circumstance, but our captors thought long enough into the future to bound our hands, but apparently they haven't met me, a master of dexterity slipping of the bounds easily. The musty bags were no longer constricting my face and now I could see the depressing brown pit and a slight shimmering of orange sunset. I wanted to punish the half-orc by letting him suffer from the bag just a little longer for crying about an inanimate sword that's sassy, but I'm not that cruel and immediately untied him. Starting to scope out another escape attempt, the half-orc wizard starts climbing up the pit sneakily to have a glance at the outside world that we are denied, there were two guards at the catapult and another at the corner. But of course at the right moment even more reinforcement came or a patrol came back, and what we've learned from our previous futile attempt of escape is that we should just wait all of this out.
    Okay, so maybe waiting it out for five hours becoming drenched in  freezing rainwater that is now ankle-deep was not the best idea. The time to break out was definitely now, especially due to darkness night brought and the pitter-patter of the rain would mask the noise of me throwing rocks. Both me and the wizard started climbing the slippery mud walls, reaching the grate and letting Ted gnaw on the lock, when we heard the silent snap of the lock, it was time break out and earn our freedom!
    As we pushed open the wooden grate, right in front of us was the back of a guard orc, oblivious to what's going to happen to him. I immediately pulled on his belt, snagging a key, toppeling his balance backwards and making him have a taste of his own medicine by landing face first into muddy rainwater pit, luckily his screams were masked by the roar of lightning striking down. Me and the wizard started to break the locks of the other grates to free our comrades and letting them climb up, but the one of the guards started screaming, alerting everyone that the prisoners had started their break out, and soon I heard the howling of the werewolves that I loathe in the distance, and more yelling of guards, pretty soon we were surrounded by guards, brandishing their weapons.
    In our situation, a normal group of adventurers would have just surrendered and crawled back into the pits, but of course, we're not normal. Everyone, as if on some silent cue, simultaneously charged against the enemy, creating a huge brawl as everyone tried to find a target and hit it with fists of fury. But alas, I did not charge with my brethren and instead opted to try to find my gear and armour, Because I was only wearing my tightie whities.
    I spotted the familiar building that once held my gear and unimaginable wealth, and also a huge bloodstain on the wall where I passed out due to the piercing bolt... Anyways, I quickly opened the door with ease which was unlocked already since I picked the lock during our last escaped and quietly slipped in unnoticed because of the war cries of my allies threatening to tear out the throats of the guards and wear them as necklaces as a prize of war. The silence inside of the building was unsettling, and shifted into the door of the right again, hoping to see my precious gold coins again.
    OH YES, the idiots were stupid enough to leave to gold here again! But of course, I had to resist squealing like a pig and trying to stuff the ice cold gold down my underwear, because priorities must come first. If I was one of the guards, I would take all of the prisoner's gear, light it on fire, curse it, swear at it, stomp on it, feed it to a dragon, take the remains and finally throw down a pit of lava to ensure that if they ever attempted and escape, their gear would not be available to them, unlike the simpletons here who decided to throw my gear back into the exact same place when they took it from our last escape.
    While I was putting on my armour and checking all of my gear, a phenomenal idea popped in my head when I was checking my oil bottles and my trusty flint and steel. I held grip to one of my oil bottles as I shoved multiple handfuls of gold down my pants as I thought about how I was going to execute the masterpiece of fiery revenge, because anyone who says revenge is a dish best served cold obviously never had it flambĂ©. I was ready, I held in my both of my hands an oil bottle each, and took off the cork using my teeth, and with a grin forming on my face, I kicked open the door and was flooded with the deafening chaos, ready to make ashes of everything here. I turned down both of my bottles, letting them drip out their delicious black opaque liquid which is capable of burning down entire cities and empires, and then I ran. Everything in my vision became a blur, rushing back into the midst of the savage bloodshed, flicking around the oil bottles in random directions, particularly to the guards, who were as confused as everyone else amongst the battle, even my own teammates. All the participants of the clash awkwardly resumed fighting as I continued to run around the fort spraying the highly unstable liquid on any material that could conceivably be burned down.
    I ran in every alleyway, path, nook and cranny and even inside some of the buildings, finally panting for breath and stopping inside the building where I first started the long trail of oil and have now made a full circle around the entire fort. I stooped down and examined the oil, making sure that it was made of the most combustible, high quality and long burning oil and then, when I was sure it was, I pulled out my flint and steel out of the bag and held it close to the oil. I flicked the steel across the flint, and in slow motion, I saw the sparks dazzle across and fly right into the oil The oil erupted into a burning speck of fire as each and every little spark created a new spot of a tiny volcano-like flame, and soon they all demanded more and more air and fuel, growing taller, bigger and following the trail very fast, and soon the materials surrounding the trail of oil started catching fire and spreading it themselves, it was beautiful.
    I stood there, gazing into the allurement of the scorching inferno, letting it swallow all of my vision. Unfortunately, I had to stop as I realized the entire place was ablaze, threatening to turn me into ashes if I stayed long enough, so I sprinted into the outside, only to realize it was just as hot too. The wooden walls, defenses, and even some of the guards were running around with their pants on fire, not following the advice of stop, drop, and roll. I was still searing hot and could not see a thing due to the billowing smoke and fires so bright, I dashed to wherever it was that wasn't engulfed in flames yet, and it happened to be the stables. As I was checking for an opening to escape the blaze while under , I saw him, DONKEY! I unlatched the stable he was forcibly put in, and in an instant, we both tackle-hugged each other, it was a bond between man and man's best friend, the donkey.
    I hear the screaming of my name in the distance, how long has it been? It was a long time since I had a good night's sleep especially after spending time in the pits. I see some of my teammates looking around for me while in the fire, and it was... Sunset?!? This stable must have been fireproof and this fort has been taking an awfully long time to burn down. I yelled out that I was still alive and got out of the stable with my donkey towing behind me, and I spot the what was left of the guards, some charred to a crisp, and some beaten to a bloody pulp. Everyone was waiting for me to get on to the cart with two horses, and I was pleasantly surprised to see the Citadel in the cart! As I hopped onto the cart, I felt the key I ripped off the orc before in my pocket, and a great idea emerged from within my noggin. I slid the key out and ever so slowly inserted it into the lock of the Citadel, the key then proceeded to instantly melt and flow between the cracks of my fingers, will we ever open this chest? Well, at least we've finally escaped the fort, and now we must travel to Avendale to warn them of the invading army, and hopefully after, save the kingdom.


1 comment:

  1. I love this series I read on the subway. Where's the next installment??????